December 2008
2 posts
“subject: I think you’re very attractive
message: But this line from your...”
– 1. this guy looks like a complete douchebag jerk and his profile contains the phrase “no fat chicks” 2. he DISLIKES CHILDREN 3. i like how he presumes i would even consider looking at any sort of “time frame” with him
“well i read you’r profile,and i really like what you have to say. let me...”
– 33 m
September 2008
3 posts
“Subject: hey lady lol i am a kiddo but lets chat neways
Hey my name is...”
– 19 m
“You look beautiful and you sound interesting, let’s go on one date.”
– 45 m, boston.
(ONE date? just one?)
“=====j wrote=====
u seem absolutely incredible…would u be willing to...”
– really attractive and obviously… quirky 33yr old male
August 2008
14 posts
“Is there any way i could convince you to wrap slices of swiss cheese around my...”
– he’s baa-aaaack! new name, possibly even new photos of his dick wrapped in swiss cheese
“ME:
i don’t speak to faceless people, i need to see a photograph of whom...”
– ‘45’ year old man, profile picture is simply a close up of his saggy boobs and stuffed boxer briefs
(okcupid)
“Hi, I was just browsing around the site, and wanted to drop you a line....”
– Not sure where he got the idea that I think Philly sucks. Also, what?
“(Discussing being insomniacs)
Me: So what sort of trouble do you get into...”
– Guy who is 32 on OkCupid but 27 on MySpace. Hmm.
“You should message me back, given the following provisos:
* You’re...”
– -37 year old male
(okcupid)
*my profile clearly indicates i am straight, looking for straight men, and that i teach and want children of my own
“I take it you’ve lost interest. I tried to get in touch with yous thurs,...”
– craigslist
“You should message me if
No bar you can message me if you like to. But I...”
– -28 year old male from czech republic whose profile and pictures show him to be best friends with a 6’3” woman from ghana (she likes to torture me in this way)
(ok cupid)
“I know, I said I would not bother you again. I’m sorry, but I awoke this...”
– -message from a man i had never once responded to. his previous messages asserted him as ‘poet’
(ok cupid)
“PS: If your into dressing up as Star Wars characters and being SEDUCED by the...”
– profile of a 31m in MD
“Date 06/04/2008 - 10:36pm
Subject take a look at my pics
Then tell me if...”
– guy whose profile photos featured swiss cheese wrapped around his dick
(OkCupid)
“Date 02/06/2008 - 11:45am
Subject When we do start to date
I would like it...”
– 41 / M (No picture found. Be suspicious.)
(OkCupid)
“Date 01/16/2008 - 9:44pm
Subject I would woo you
but woos are kind of...”
– (OkCupid)
“Date 07/31/2008 - 2:50pm
Subject
I saw your ad and it was perfect. I am...”
– 35 / M / Philadelphia, PA (No picture found. Be suspicious.)
(OkCupid)
“Date Today - 3:50pm
Subject I’m to old
oh yeah, I’m a guy. I...”
– 40ish male. Username indicates he is a teacher.
(OkCupid)